When I was little my brother asked for a Labrador Retriever for Christmas. I thought it was so stupid for him to ask for a dog, mom and dad barely let me have a little turtle; what chance did he have of getting a puppy? Surprisingly, he did get the dog, and with it came lots of new experiences for both of us.
As the puppy grew I realized it would soon be heavier and tower over me, my head began to formulate ideas of what I could do with such an animal at my disposal. For Christmas I asked for a pair of inline skates, and there was only one thing I wanted to do with them and my new dog. I decided to put on my skates and grab on to his leash, thinking that I was gonna ride around the neighborhood as he pulled me. It didn’t take long for me to realize that that was a mistake.
The dog dragged me for about a block and half. I guess I was in such a state of shock that my body didn’t think of letting go until it had dragged me for quite a while. I don’t remember thinking about the consequences this was going to have before I grabbed on to my dog’s leash. And to tell you the truth there were none; besides a couple of bruises and scars.
Twenty years later, as I sit here writing this article overthinking every word I’m writing, I can’t think of the last time I made a spontaneous decision like that. I have become extremely hesitant. I can’t even step forward without thinking of what lies ahead. Every social media post and every conversation has slowly become a “pending approval” thing. We have become so mesmerized by the idea of the perfect post or response to a comment, that we have lost sight of how important it is to make mistakes or saying “fuck it” and doing something that comes from your gut.
Going out has become the most complicated analysis of who you are, matching accessories to clothes and choosing preset personalities from a rack of choices. Who we are has become a list of ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ that we carry everywhere. Yet still we all fall victim to this culture of hesitation that prohibits us from experiencing the necessary chaos we need in order to make progress and live new experiences.
This should be the year that this hesitation ends, however, I say that with as much hesitation as if I were about to go talk to a pretty girl at the bar. Little by little this culture has seeped into our beings, and to root it out will not be an easy task. Finding what we once had as kids will take some time, but we have to learn to let go and just be free. Maybe it’s time to buy some inline skates and let life tug you towards your destiny. Even if you fall or get lost, you’re still on you way to greatness and less hesitation.