We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Those first few months in a relationship where everything is rainbows and butterflies. Our significant other can do no wrong and even if they could, we’re so quick to forgive them because we can’t stand being upset with them. This honeymoon stage usually goes away after a while, and when it does – we wipe the fog from our eyes and we start to see what’s real and, suddenly, we’re faced with the harsh reality that sometimes we just need time to be with ourselves. Whether it is spread throughout the course of the week or all at once – we need to feel like we are still us, not just half of a whole. That’s where the time management challenges begin. Because, when everything is nice and fresh, it’s easy to say no to the gym at 7 am and no to the girl’s night you had planned, but when it all comes into perspective – we need these little moments to keep us sane and to keep our relationship healthy.
One person isn’t enough and, at the same time, too much.
Whether it’s your biff, your BAE or your mother – spending every second of your available time with one person can take a toll in your relationship. Suddenly you’ll find yourself annoyed at the way they chew their gum, or drink their coffee, or the way they part their hair – who knows? But the more time you spend with someone without giving yourself a break, the more you notice. We, as humans, need to devote our time to various things and people and when we get too caught up in one person, we can easily drown ourselves – and our relationship along with it.
Give yourselves a chance to miss each other.
When you spend so much time with a person, you tend to take them for granted. You forget the little things that make them great just because you’re so used to them being around. That, my friends, can be disastrous. Give yourself some space; don’t see each other for a couple of days. Suddenly you’ll remember the way her hair changes color in the sun or the way his cracked smile melts you away. You’ll be anxious to discuss what you’ve been up to for the past couple of days and you’ll enjoy their company so much more knowing how much you missed them while they weren’t around.
Get sh*t done.
Now, I don’t know about you, but when I’m in la-la land I tend to forget errands I have to run or things I have to get done. Not that I’m totally distracted, but there are some things I tell myself: “Ah, that can wait”. The last time I did that, I was down to my last pair of underwear when I noticed it was really time to get my laundry done. Give yourself time to take care of business and get the things you need to do, done! Whether it’s laundry, an oil change, or finishing that book you’ve had at your bedside – GET IT DONE!
There is time for everything, especially getting to know each other.
If you’ve found yourself a good prospect, you want to get to know them. You want to know their likes, dislikes, who they’ve dated, why they broke up, what their favorite color is and why? Sometimes, we become so infatuated with the person we’re invested in, we forget that we have all the time in the world to get to know them. We forget how to let things happen organically – and we rush. Lasagna can’t be baked in 10 minutes and a building can’t come up from the ground in a day. Good things take time and, like a building, the foundation must be strong – or it’ll crumble. Allow yourself to let nature run its course and don’t try to spend every single waking second together trying to figure out if they’re MR./MRS. right. Enjoy the ride!
So whether you’re trying to get your to-do list done or simply trying to meditate at the beach, you don’t always need to be accompanied. Take time for yourself, enjoy your “alone time”, and learn to cherish it or one day you’ll wish you had.